Anniversary Gift Ideas by Year
The traditional anniversary gift for every year, plus what to actually buy - including 1st (paper), 25th (silver), 40th (ruby) and 50th (gold).
Anniversaries come with a built-in brief. Every year has a traditional material attached to it, which is either genuinely helpful or a minor nightmare depending on whether you've been landed with "tin".
The short version
The traditional UK materials run paper (1st), cotton, leather, linen and wood through the early years, then tin at 10, crystal 15, china 20, silver 25, pearl 30, ruby 40, gold 50 and diamond 60. Treat the material as a hint, not an order - the best anniversary gifts nod to it rather than obey it. And paper, handily, means a book, which is why a printed cookbook works both for a first anniversary and for a fiftieth, when the couple stopped needing objects years ago.
The traditional list
Lists vary - there's a UK traditional list, an American one, and a "modern" one invented largely by people selling things. This is the traditional list most commonly used in the UK.
| Year | Material | Reasonable interpretation |
|---|---|---|
| 1st | Paper | A printed book, a framed map, tickets to something |
| 2nd | Cotton | Good bed linen, a proper apron, a hammock |
| 3rd | Leather | A bag, a belt, a bound notebook |
| 4th | Linen | Table linen, napkins, a linen apron |
| 5th | Wood | An end-grain chopping board, a tree, wooden spoons that will last |
| 10th | Tin | A recipe tin, good tinned delicacies, bakeware |
| 15th | Crystal | Glassware, a decanter |
| 20th | China | Proper plates - the ones they'd never buy themselves |
| 25th | Silver | Cutlery, a photo frame, an engraved serving piece |
| 30th | Pearl | Jewellery, or mother-of-pearl handled knives |
| 35th | Coral | Something in the colour, or a trip to the sea |
| 40th | Ruby | Jewellery, or anything deep red done well |
| 45th | Sapphire | Jewellery, or a piece of blue glass or ceramic |
| 50th | Gold | Gilded, gold-edged, or gold-foiled - including on a book cover |
| 55th | Emerald | Jewellery, or green in something they use |
| 60th | Diamond | Traditionally jewellery; realistically, the family in one room |
The rule with all of these: treat the material as a hint, not an instruction. A 40th anniversary gift doesn't have to contain a ruby. It has to make it obvious you knew it was the fortieth.
The first anniversary: paper
The nicest brief on the whole list, because paper means a book, and a book can be about them.
A cookbook of the recipes from their first year of living together - the thing they made every Sunday, the disaster they still talk about, the dish one of them cooked on the night they met - is both literally the traditional gift and something they'll still have at the fortieth.
If you gave them a wedding gift a year ago, this is also the natural follow-on: see wedding gift ideas for couples who cook.
The 25th, 40th and 50th: gifts for parents
These are almost always bought by adult children, and they come with a specific problem: the couple have been accumulating things for a quarter of a century and are now quietly trying to get rid of some.
Which rules out most objects, and rules in the two things that still work - an experience, or something made out of their own history.
The version that lands hardest for a big anniversary: a book of the food they've cooked for the family over those decades, with contributions from everyone who's eaten it. The Sunday roast. The birthday cake that had to be that cake. The thing one of them makes when someone is ill. Their children and grandchildren each write a page.
It works because it's the only gift that answers the actual question a big anniversary raises, which is: what did all of that add up to?
If there's a party, use it. Ask everyone attending for a recipe and a paragraph in advance, and present the finished book on the day. Set the deadline a month before the party - anniversary guest lists skew older and reply by post more often than you'd expect.
Other anniversary gifts that work at any year
- A meal at the place they had their first date - booked and paid for, not suggested.
- The photographs from the wedding, reprinted properly. Most couples over 40 have their wedding photos in an album that's falling apart and nowhere else.
- A cooking class together, in something neither of them has done.
- A letter from each of their children, collected and bound. Costs nothing.
- A repeat of the honeymoon, or a night in the same hotel, if it still exists.
What not to do
Don't buy an ornament with the year printed on it. Don't buy a framed print of the newspaper front page from their wedding day - it's a nice idea that has been done to everyone. And don't give a couple in their seventies something that needs dusting.
Common questions
What is the traditional 1st anniversary gift?
Paper. Which in practice means a book, a framed print, a map, tickets, or anything written - and it's one of the easier years to do well, because "paper" allows for something personal rather than something bought.
What do you get parents for their 50th wedding anniversary?
Something that can't be bought. At fifty years the cupboards are full, the house is often being downsized, and the couple usually want the family in one room more than they want an object. A gathered book, a party, or a properly organised trip beats anything gold-plated.
What is the 40th anniversary called?
Ruby. The 25th is silver, the 30th pearl, the 45th sapphire, the 50th gold and the 60th diamond.
Do you have to follow the traditional list?
No. Almost nobody does strictly, and the modern lists were largely invented to sell more categories of product. Use the material as a theme if it helps you decide, and ignore it if it's pushing you towards something silly.
How much should you spend on an anniversary gift?
For your own partner, whatever's normal for you - the milestone years justify more. For parents or friends, a milestone anniversary sits somewhere near a significant birthday, and a group gift from all the children is both easier and better than four separate presents.
How far in advance should I start a made-to-order gift?
Six to eight weeks if other people are contributing, less if it's just you. Printing takes days; collecting from relatives takes weeks.
Making a book of their years of cooking
Add the recipes, add photographs - of the dishes, of them, of the family - with a note against each recipe saying who made it and when. Send a link to the rest of the family and they add their own, so the book comes from everyone rather than from one person doing all the typing.
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